Developing Emotional Maturity

One of the things that we are trying to develop through RDI (Relationship Development Intervention), is expressing emotions. Previously, a lot of the feedback we got from Alan that was emotional had to do with whether or not we were filling our functions which he expected. If we did, he was happy or content. If we did not, he let us know he was angry or sad by his actions. In the meantime, he seemed to just float along, not giving us any indication of his feelings.

I was overjoyed today on a day when I was not feeling very well. I am getting over a cold. After I looked at the newspaper this morning, I brought my coffee into my study and sat down at my computer. I heard Alan go into the kitchen to prepare his breakfast. Once he had done that, he sat down. Then, he called out to me, "Are you coming to join me, Mom?" He simply wanted my company. He didn't need anything except my presence and he wanted it. You can bet that I picked up that old coffee cup and went upstairs to sit with him. He didn't take long to eat, and when he was done, he didn't say anything. He simply left for his room. I was glad, though, that he had expressed a desire to have me beside him.

This brings me to a deeper emotion. Alan got this cold first. He has never felt really bad that I could tell, but he has definite symptoms, which are lessening. On Friday evening, I started to have a runny nose. By Saturday evening, I felt very sick. Alan, at the dinner table with his Dad and me, told me with tears in his eyes, "I don't like it when you are sick, Mom. It makes me feel sad." There was a silent pause. Then he asked me, "Do you feel sad when I am sick?" I assured him that I did.